Tag Archives: Christianity

Be Careful What You Pray For!

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“I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.“
Psalm 121:1-2

You may need to read my last blog post to get the whole story, but even if you don’t, I have a true life lesson that proves that the sky is the limit when you take your wants, needs, and desires to God in prayer.

I have been working a part-time job for over 18 months. I started this gig in December of 2020 with the expectation that I would only need to do it for 6 months. My goals, at that time, were (1) to get out of the house and around people during the worst of the COVID pandemic, (2) do something physical and get out of the house, and (3) survive our dark, cold, long, Wisconsin winter.
As news to me, God had a better idea. His goals were (1) I would actually enjoy working a second job (2) this would be an active mission field to reach unchurched people in my community, and (3) to address my (almost) $24,000 in credit card debt.

A few months ago I routinely sat down with my prayer journal and I expressed to God that I was tired. With both jobs combined, I was working up to 60 hours a week and I told him that I really needed a break. My current balance on my credit card (at that time) was just under $4,000. I had come so far that I could see that being credit card debt-free was within reach. But, I also asked God to expedite my debt pay off because I didn’t want to do this anymore. As I recorded these requests, I consciously remember thinking, “How are you going to do this God? I’m asking to work less or not at all, but at the same time get paid more? These prayers contradict!”

I proceeded to close my journal and I just left it right there as I do everyday and with every prayer. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if I expected God to actually answer my prayers that day, or was it just me whining? After all, it is such a fleshly human characteristic to “want our cake and eat it too”, right?
Several weeks passed and I forgot that prayer or whining session; whichever you want to call it. Despite being tired, sheer determination and an unwavering commitment to achieve my $0 balance credit card goal kept me going. I endured more long work days, making sacrifices to my social calendar and family time, missing out on community events and completely neglecting housework. Dust bunnies can wait until my debt is paid off, I thought to myself.
But then one day God answered my prayer and not how I would have ever imagined.

I got hurt – really hurt!

I was at work and it seemed as if it were just another night, but on this particular night, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was squished by an almost 4,000 pound box. I’ll spare you the details, but after a 5 hour wait in the Emergency Room, I was treated for a sprained wrist, elbow, ankle and a large laceration on the back of my right heel. Oh-it-could-have-been-so-much-worse!
Following the accident, I was unable to work for 2 complete weeks (because I was physically unable to stand or walk for any length of time, prohibiting me from being able to perform the light duty work that they tried to give me). Two weeks to rest, ice and elevate. Did you catch that? (2 weeks!)

The other miracle was, when I did return to work, the partial disability checks paid from workman’s comp more than doubled my normal take home pay. (Doubled!)
It was about 3 weeks after the accident that it all hit me. Not only did God gave me my much needed break BUT He expedited my debt pay off – Simultaneously! Exactly as I had prayed for it.

As of today, I my balance is $227 and I am days away from being credit card debt free and close friend asked me what I plan to do to celebrate this monumental accomplishment? After giving it some thought I decided I am going to commemorate God’s goodness in not just this, but in every aspect of my life, by getting a tattoo on my ankle (after it is healed) that reads, “My debt is paid.”

Our God loves us so much. He cares deeply for us. He is able to do so much more than we can ask or imagine. Be careful what you pray for, it might hurt.

At The End Of Ourselves

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6

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The book of Acts is incredible. It’s like a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Today I read Acts 27:13-26 and couldn’t help but recognize some parallels between the storm they were facing and the storms that I face in my own life.

My Wiersbe Bible Commentary says, “Sometimes we get ourselves into storms for the same reasons: impatience, accepting expert advice that is contrary to God’s will, following the majority, and trusting ‘ideal’ conditions. ‘He that believes shall not make haste’ (Isaiah 28:16). It pays to listen to God’s Word.”

CONVICTING! I have done this – I do this still! Practicing everything but not listening and willingly obey God’s Word.

I have gotten better at this because I do find myself praying to God, “This is just too big for me or too much for me to handle, I know I have to trust YOU with this, Lord.” Admittedly, I should just say, “You got this God” and then confidently trust Him, but no, I don’t naturally do that. God and me, we arm wrestle sometimes. I give it to Him and take it back, and then give it to Him again, only to take it back. Finally I fatigue and throw my arms up and proclaim, “You win!”

It is so me to have to get to the end of myself first and THEN give it to God. I’m just being real here.

The verse within this section that glared me straight in the face is verse 20b that says, “We finally gave up all hope of being saved.” God does bring us to the end of ourselves, doesn’t He? After we have “tried” to do everything we humanly can to “fix” our circumstances, rationalize our efforts and work our way through the messes (as if our lives depended on it), instead of trusting on the Lord with all our hearts and leaning NOT on our own understanding, but in ALL our ways, to acknowledge Him first, so He can make our paths straight. [Head slap moment]

Surrendering our will, trusting in God, waiting on His timing and not doubting Him is a daily, hourly, minute by minute need [for me] so I thanked God for reminding of this today and I am confessing to all of you that just prayed and repented of all the ways that I try to control everything. Everything!

I asked God to forgive me for trying to “play God” when things aren’t as I wish they were or I “think” they should be. I invited Him to come back and be seated on the throne of my marriage, my relationship with daughters, my jobs, all the people I deeply yearn for to have a relationship with Him (but don’t seem to be “getting it”) and any other selfish things that I am unconsciously, or subconsciously, doing in my own strength. They’re not going to magically disappear I know, but it’s sure going to take the pressure off of me. I have now reprioritized it and released it; accepted and appreciating the reality that only He can do and He will!

It’s so liberating to lay my burdens at His feet and know it’s in better hands. This is where and when I find peace within myself and about all the things that make my world spin like crazy.

If you want to join me and show me that I’m not alone… let me know what it is that you need to release and let go to Him today?

What Does The Cross Mean To You?

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black cross on top of mountain

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Luke 9:23-25

A young lady came into my life recently and we were matched up because she wanted to know God better. To be honest, she had a very convincing testimony and if salvation had a checklist I would argue that she could check every box. I was pleased to see that she already knew a lot of scripture so I assumed my role, as her mentor, would be to show her how she could build daily disciplines into her life, hold her accountable to putting what she read into practice and to encourage her in her walk with the Lord. We both agreed that this would be our goal.

I made her a promise that I would not give her any personal advice, but would point her to scripture that would be useful to teaching rebuking, correcting and training in her righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). With that, I encouraged her to ask questions and to be curious about what she was reading and take time to meditate on how she could apply what she was reading into her life.

Shortly after, her questions started rolling in, I responded with verses that would not only teach her, but affirm her as she would wrestle with the truth. She began to realize that her life wasn’t exactly aligned with what God would want for her and began to open up about her struggles with addition, low self-esteem, anxiety, borderline depression and a complete lack of inner peace.

I kept sharing God’s truth and continued to remind her of who she is in Christ; that she is God’s creation, His handiwork, an heir to the throne and a daughter of the King who is deeply loved. She began rebuking me out of her own disbelief that if that is true about God, why doesn’t she feel that way?

Whoa! There it is… she’s seeking a feeling and desiring after some supernatural, magical, confident state of mind. Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is deceitful above all else, who can understand it and when I shared this with her, she had to admit that this is true of herself. She is being tossed around endlessly by her feelings and is guilty focusing on how she feels rather than on what she knows to be true in scripture.

Girlfriends, God made us to be feelers, thinkers and have emotions, which (I can speak from first hand experience), can be one of the biggest barriers to having an intimate, authentic and personal relationship with God.

We can’t wish ourselves into heaven anymore than we can earn it.

We need to throw our whole entire heart (life) into knowing God and trust every single one of the promises that are given to us in His word. We have to believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what Jesus did on the cross was enough to cover our sins today, tomorrow and for eternity. Until we do, we will live on an emotional rollercoaster and be tossed around and tormented by our feelings – exactly what is happening to her.

It has been weeks of watching her come to the end of herself in this battle of wills – her will vs. God’s will. Last night she finally made this statement, “I know suffering has a purpose but it hurts when in it… I’d like to view it from God’s perspective.”

Oh, the honesty, defeat and vulnerability in those words.

Poor sweet girl (and all of you reading), we DO have God’s perspective and it is found at and in the cross! The cross that performed the greatest, most selfless act in history. The cross, where God’s grace was freely given to us in the form the most sacrificial gift of all time. Not one of us deserve it! It is the most horrific form of suffering, where Jesus was placed on an altar, the altar called the cross, and where his sinless, flawless life was sacrificed and he willingly took all of humanity’s collective sin onto himself paying the ultimate price… death! Satan thought he won, but on the contrary he was never more defeated. Jesus conquered death and he lives!

It is because of this that we surrender our lives to him – our whole selves. He gave everything up for us and held nothing back and when we realize the magnitude of what he did, we willingly, enthusiastically and wholeheartedly give him our lives. When that happens, the Holy Spirit enters us and begins to change us from the inside out. The process takes a lifetime (here on earth), but the assurance of heaven is guaranteed. The changes we begin to see within ourselves are evidence of his transforming work and we not only love ourselves (which covers low self-esteem, doubt and anxiety), but we love others unconditionally.

Today I am going to ask this young lady if she wants to accept the greatest gift of life that God gave to her, because now I can see that she may know scripture intellectually, but not personally. I pray I get to witness the birth of a new believer who comes to know her Father in heaven on Mother’s Day 2020.

Is today that day for you too? Are you done being tossed around by your feelings and emotions and are you ready to accept the greatest gift of all – eternal life through faith in what Jesus did on the cross for you?

I hope so. My greatest pain comes from watching this young lady, and many like her, struggle. Especially because I know that on the other side of this decision is peace that surpasses all understanding, joy that is not contingent to circumstances and love that abounds beyond my ability to describe it.

“Lord, thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for MY sins; not just the sins of the world, but for ME! Father please forgive me of all my sins – I admit that I can’t save myself; I need a savior. I surrender my life to you, Lord, and I ask that you fill me with your Holy Spirit. That you will guide me everyday for the rest of my life and I thank you for giving me assurance of eternal life through Jesus Christ. In Jesus Name I pray – Amen!”

If you prayed this prayer, Congratulations! Email me at liveoutlougblog@gmail.com and I will share some ideas on how you can take your new found faith and grow it, mature it.

For you and all who have already surrendered your life, we will see you in heaven, sisters in Christ!

 

 

 

With Great Expectation

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Light shines on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.  Psalm 97:11

A friend recently said to me, “God is so pleased with you right now, His face is shining down on you because you quit drinking.” I listened in disbelief and thought to myself, “Really?”

The truth is, “Yes, really.” I can be certain of that because I know truth and the truth is that God loves me and when I am living in obedience, he promises blessings. I did a bible search for the word “desires” and 50 results came up. Among them is Psalm 145: 17-19, “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of tho who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them” (NIV).

I know God has been telling me for a long time that drinking has been a blemish that tarnishes my claim to be a believer, and as you know from blogs past, I had to quit drinking to be obedient.

God is faithful and just, when God wants you to know he’s not pleased with some aspect of your life, he has a way of letting you know.

Fortunately I didn’t need to need a wake up call like a DUI or worse!

I do have a confession (since it’s just us girlfriends). On my celebratory day 61, I had a glass of wine and, to be honest, I did it with full intention because I wanted to test myself. I wanted to see if #1 – I could stop at just one, #2 – that I could control my drinking and possibly go back to being a social drinker if I could prove that I had a “handle on it” and #3 – Because I didn’t think it would be considered relapse if I didn’t drink under stress, duress or weakness.

Here is what this experiment taught me: #1 – I have incredible willpower because despite the strong temptation to order a second drink, I stayed true to myself and only had one #2 – I cannot go back to being a social drinker because the in the sobriety community says, “You take the first drink, the drink takes a second drink and the third drink takes you.” This is a battleground, this saying is true! and #3 – My amazing support system pointed out that what I did is, in fact, relapse, there is no such thing as “testing addiction” (Oops!).

So, here’s to today and celebrating, what I call my “Dover 30 days” for my do over and I’m 30 days sober (again!). Today I live in the confidence that God IS shining down with pleasure upon me for choosing him over alcohol. I am at peace and I know he is pleased with me and out of my heart of obedience, I await the blessings.

Praise be to God!

Tips For Sober Living

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“Let us examine our ways and test them,
    and let us return to the Lord.”
Lamentations 3:40

Last week I poured out my soul to you with a confession that I have made the decision to live sober. It was my “coming out” post to let the Godly Girlfriends community know that I have been moved, by God, to address my drinking problem. (Geez, that is still hard to own up to – Just sayin’!)

If there is one thing that I have learned in my first 30 days of sobriety, is that you can NOT do it alone. I tend to live my life as an open book, but this is deeply personal so putting this out there really takes vulnerability to a whole new level.

Today I would like to share a list of what has prevented me from giving in to all the temptations that I have encountered over the past month. My goal is to inspire others who are following my journey, looking for the courage and motivation to embark upon their own journey or for you to share with someone on a similar journey who could use some fresh ideas.

No matter what, please don’t judge me. I don’t have the perfect antidote, nobody does, but in these first 30 days, I have learned a lot about myself and this disease so I’m putting it out there. It’s what is working for me:

  1. Life Recovery Bible: I don’t know how anyone can do this without a Life Recovery Bible. It has given me daily biblical lessons that have put my addiction into perspective given me the strength to kick addiction off the pedestal of my life. In addition, I watch the Life Recovery Videos that compliment each step in the bible and the recovery system to further guide my thoughts and support my healing.
  2. Join a Celebrate Recovery Support Group: I can’t speak for AA because I haven’t been there, but I have known enough people in recovery (family members included) who have been successful in AA and have greatly benefited from that framework. I commend anyone who relies on their AA network of support. I have deliberately chosen a Celebrate Recovery (CR) Group because CR focuses on the healing power and sovereign grace of God; not my own manifestation of a higher power. Without having the one and only true God along side of me on this journey, I would not only be unsuccessful at overcoming addiction, but helpless to overcome all the proverbial curve balls that life throws my way.
  3. Countless YouTube Videos: I searched for every topic that I could think of and I listen constantly. In 30 days, I haven’t stumbled upon a repeat video yet. The messages, testimonies, education and knowledge that I have gleaned has given me answers that not only give me the assurance that I’m not alone, but this is possible. Some of the topics that I searched were Ted Talks about sobriety, detoxing, liver damage, sober stories, alcohol use disorder, overcoming cravings, signs of alcoholism, what is an alcoholic, functional alcoholics, women and alcohol, how to eliminate bloating, how to stay sober and what it means to be an alcoholic – to name a few.

    I owe the Life Recovery Bible, my Celebrate Recovery Group and the hosts of the numerous YouTube video’s credit for the remaining tips, but regardless of how I derived at them, they are working and I hope they work for you or someone you love too.

  4. Alcohol is poison: In my research on health, consequences of consuming alcohol and liver damage has given me enough ammunition to refuse to drink. You don’t have to go far to learn the negative repercussions of alcohol on the mind and body, but when you’re enjoying drinking why would you want to know you’re killing yourself? Making the psychologically shift from seeing alcohol a reward or a much deserved selfish indulgence to seeing it as something that will kill you can have a life altering impact.
  5. I want to feel: When you’re not putting yourself to bed and night with a bottle of wine and waking yourself up every morning with a pot of coffee, the world is beautiful in a new and fresh way. The sunset’s are breathtaking and the sunrise’s are indescribable. I love seeing the beauty in the world and appreciating all the moments that I now have to pause and appreciate them.
  6. I hate “Day One”. As much as my last 30 days have been consistent and without relapse, I have been motivated, many times, by the motivation to not have to start over. The thought of going back to day one after putting in this much work and adding another number to my sober days has helped me remain strong.
  7. Record Milestones. First holiday, first time golfing, first Friday night, first full weekend or whatever victory I am proud of achieving. I heard that it requires one year of “firsts” to fully appreciate the exhilarating feeling of being fully liberated from the triggers of alcohol. Also in the time frame of one year, you’ll have the time to create new experiences and build positive memories. As much as this is a “one day at a time” process, there truly is something inspiring of having a whole year of new beginnings. With each recorded milestone, my enthusiasm for a better future grows.
  8. Find new things to love. I love a hot cup of camomile tea before bed. I love reading a good book, working out and checking things off of my to-do list. When I used to come home from work and pour myself a glass of wine, that was putting an end to any productivity I planned to have for the night. I considered packing my gym bag without forgetting anything for the morning after workout was considered a successful night. I now appreciate the feelings of accomplishment, personal growth, good health and productivity. I especially love waking up in the morning with a clear, rested mind and energy! The sense of accomplishment I get from not drinking (again) the night before is exhilarating.
  9. Examine my motives. In one video I learned to ask myself “why I want a drink” each time I feel tempted. I remember pulling into my garage in week 1 and being inundated with thoughts of pouring myself a glass of wine as soon as I could get in the house. I caught myself and consciously asked “Why?” My list of reasons that I wanted a drink was weak; to say the least. From, “I just want one” to “I need to relax” to “It’s been a long day” or “It will help me sleep.” Once I deconstructed each reason for the root of why I really wanted a drink, I was able to disprove the reasons and redirect my desires toward healthier options. I learned I was drinking more out of habit, then for any true, rational or beneficial reason.
  10. Find an accountability partner(s). One of the first things that I was told early on is that I need an accountability partner. For me, this was my best friend. Someone whom I love and deeply respect too much to let down. She welcomed the opportunity to take on this tough-love assignment and she regularly sends check-in texts, unexpected daily reminders and sweet, sweet messages of encouragement and prayers that she is praying for me. With cheerleaders, advocates and non-judgemental safety nets that I have established, I seek their approval and affirmations and look forward to reporting my daily successes to them. I must add that my brother’s sobriety is motivating me. He may or may not, but I feel that he is relying on my strength and want to inspire him and show him that I am in the trenches with him. This feels like a bigger victory in that our family history is overtaken by this disease. Together, we can prevail!
  11. Make a Why List. Denial and justification for drinking is relentless and sneaks up at random and unexpected times. My mind swings from, “This is too easy” to “clearly I don’t have a problem.” That is until one of my triggers flare up and I start entertaining the idea that “just one won’t hurt.” I made a list of 10 reasons why I don’t drink which takes me back to the place that I was when I made this decision 30 days ago and the exact that I declared “enough is enough.” When I revisit that list I am reminded of the guilt, shame, regret and embarrassing memories or strong convictions that gave me the strength to stop. I don’t advocate for living in the past, but remembering where you’ve been and how far you have come is empowering. I’ll take that!
  12. Facebook Group: I searched and found “Slaying Sobriety” on Facebook. This group has over 6,000 women who have their own stories and I appreciate immediate responses with support, encouragement and connectivity to others who understand where I am at. I have encouraged others and they have encouraged me in my moments of weakness.
  13. A Lifestyle Choice. There is no denying the stigma of addiction, alcoholic and drunk. A clever marketer on YouTube suggested that we choose the label we want to bare, rather than hanging our head in defeat. After all, we may be alcoholics by genetics, mental health, past trauma or just fun people who took fun to far and for too long. Regardless, we don’t need society to make us outcasts. Instead, we choose sober living, living sober or life in recovery as a more positive representation of those of us who want better life and are making better choices for ourselves. Nobody criticizes a diabetic for taking insulin for their disease, why should we be ridiculed for ridding our lives of alcohol that makes us sick and will kill us.
  14. A Better Future. I often think about the years of drinking. I have been drinking more than 35 years. I get excited to imagine my next 35 years where I will have fewer regrets, more opportunities, better memories and more genuine friendships. As much as drinking is a societal norm, it is also derails our quality of life.
  15. A New Me. I’m having fun getting to know the new me, I really am. A girl who is full of life with a broader, more hope-filled vision for the future. Let’s be real, it’s not a great and wonderful experience… I’m making it one. There are moments that I do wish I could just take it or leave it, but I have had to get honest with myself and I have a track record of not winning in this area. I find myself dreaming again and imagining what more life holds. I am waiting to see if I get accepted into the Master’s of Counseling Program at Concordia University as we speak. I like the idea that it’s not to late to be what God created me to be.

Thank you for following my journey. Not only with alcohol, but in my walk of faith and continuous growth in knowing God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

 

 

 

 

God – Happy Father’s Day!

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But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)

Hey ladies, it’s Father’s Day so let’s not neglect our heavenly Father today – Are you with me? I have already taken inventory of my gratitude and appreciation that I have for my Dad, Husband and Father’s-in-law, but in prayer this morning I was reminded of the need to remember our Father in heaven. I’m embarrassed to admit that I almost excluded God from today’s honor.

Arguably, we could say that Father’s Day is just another one of those manufactured Hallmark holidays that gives our restaurants and retailers the opportunity to capitalize on our spending, but I’m going to set that aside to bring the perspective that we should be giving God a moment of reflection, admiration, appreciation and celebration for who He is and all He has done.

In doing so, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for the men in my life. I’m always amazed at how things gain a greater perspective when I put it in the proper context. In my formative years, I used to try to reduce God to be the equivalent of my earthly Father. I tried to visualize (or maybe categorize is a better word) God and the only tangible example I had was my own father. It doesn’t take much bible reading to know there is a stark difference. Earthly men aren’t perfect, they don’t meet our expectations, they can’t read our minds and, let’s face it, they do fall short (as we all do) of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

I will enjoy spoiling my husband and appreciating my earthly Dads today, but only after I put God in His prominent place in my heart and mind and worship Him with thanksgiving and gratitude for ALL he has done and will continue to do; today and every day forevermore.

Do me a favor and comment below on what attributes of God, Our Father, you appreciate most. I tried to make a list, but it was too overwhelming of a task and didn’t know where to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts and sentiments.  Thank you!

 

A Journey with No Regrets… Finally!

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I did it! I finished reading my bible cover to cover. I am going to selfishly relish in my accomplishment because I have to admit that I am authentically proud of myself. I remember sitting in my living room back in July 2013, starring at my bible wondering where to start that day. Up until then, I read my bible for random bible studies (which is very sporadic and not truly a full immersion into the richness of God’s Word), or I would grab a book based on what I felt like reading and read until I felt God speaking to me, but that July Saturday morning I prayed, “What message do you have for me today, Lord?”

The answer was a nudging to read the whole bible starting at Genesis. Isn’t it just like God to give you an answer to your prayer that is the exact opposite of what you were really looking for? I was hoping more for something like, “Read Philippians to experience more joy, or Ephesians to get armored up”, but cover to cover – all 66 BOOKS – even before starting felt very defeating. I started reading through Genesis more times than any other book of the bible and I really wasn’t that interested in reading about Adam and Eve AGAIN. (Isn’t it the petty things that hang us up sometimes?)

Since it was God talking, I had to entertain the offer. Then I thought to myself, “Well, I have the rest of my life to do this, so why not? If the rapture comes and I haven’t finished, I guess I’ll learn how it ends anyway.” – There you have it, my motivational self-talk.

How Do I Get Started?

Thinking, if I’m going to do this and succeed this time, I need how some accountability. I scanned my list of highly devoted bible reading friends and just didn’t think any of them would want this long responsibility. Besides, this is my journey with God, if I have another person to work with we could slow the progress.

Next I thought of picking up a 365 day reading plan, but knew that if I missed just one day you could forget it. If I ended up having a backlog of days to read and snowballed, I would get further discouraged and give up.

My third option was to take it one day at a time, one chapter at a time, at my own self pace. For accountability, I would create a blog, this blog, called Godly Girlfriends. Even though upon its start I had no followers, I was still accountable to reading and writing about my bible journey.

Perfect! I have a plan that “I think” will work.

Having found a path and putting a committed plan in place I started both reading the bible and my Godly Girlfriends blog. Here we are 4 years later and I have obeyed God and read my bible – the WHOLE bible. The daily blogging stopped somewhere in the middle of Deuteronomy because I feel a strong conviction that it was becoming more of a task box to be checked rather than an authentic, focused, deliberate walk with God. This made my blog posts less frequent and inconsistent, but my spiritual life took off.

God and I grew together day after day, week after week. As I closed the book after Revelation 22, I had a flashback over these past years. Was it perfect? NO. I missed many days, even weeks, when I would jump back into a local bible study or when I purposefully slow down my pace to piggy back on a more inductive study with Kay Arthur (through Daniel) or Dr. Vernon McGee (through all the minor profits).

What’s Next?

My original plan was to pick up my Chronological Study Bible and do it all over again chronologically, but God put a young lady in my life who is hungry to learn and grow and her youth group is reading through 2 Kings. So I have decided to take on that book with her, to be her accountability partner and see what God has to teach me back in Kings for the time being.

They say that the teacher is the best student and I have to say, taking my knowledge and teaching it to this young lady will definitely be just that – teaching me!

Thank you for your loyalty to keep following. I will continue to share my life with you and all that I am learning and growing in my life’s journey with my BFF Jesus.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen. Revelation 22:20-21

Didn’t See That Coming!

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“I give you this charge, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2 Timothy 4:1b-2

It was only supposed to be a photo shoot to update my professional photo and the photographer, making small talk, says, “Any big plans for the weekend?”

Not expecting my answer to go very far, since I talk about it all the time, which usually ends with a sweet, “Wow! I couldn’t do that, good for you,” I answered his question with, “Yes, I am meeting with 3 inmates tomorrow for bible study at the jail.”

It was pretty obvious that the photo shoot got very interesting from there; Perhaps better words to describe it would be “weird”, or possibly “awkward” to be accurate.

He clarified, “I assume you’re talking about the Christian bible?” I responded, “Yes!” In the hope that this would open up a great spiritual dialog, but instead he said, “Well that’s interesting, since I have studied all the world religions and they all pretty much have their own take on it. At the end of the day they all say the same thing, so why Christian?”

I thought I would start with my testimony. After all, it is my own personal, “why Christian”. So I proceeded to explain that 18 years ago I was questioned, for the first time in my life at my daughters baptism, about my belief in infant baptism and I really wasn’t prepared for the confrontation. I was baptizing my daughter because I was raised to believe that it was the right thing to do; not because I understood why I was doing it. That day I surrendered my life to Christ and made a commitment to seek and know the truth. I wanted to raise my daughters in that confidence and to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how to get to heaven so they wouldn’t have to question what they believe if they are ever confronted like I had been.

He didn’t bite. He continued, “Well, if you are teaching your daughters what you believe and that is all they’ve ever known, are you – in essence – doing exactly what your parents did to you?”

I really couldn’t argue. He’s right! It’s not like I shopped religions and gave my kids an education in all of the ways the world practices their beliefs and helped them understand why Jesus truly is the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the father except through Him (John 14:6), but I know what I know because I KNOW Jesus! I have the Holy Spirit living in me (Ephesians 4:30), I have witnessed my own life transformed (Romans 12:1-2), I have seen miraculous signs of things I could have never thought or imagined (Ephesians 3:20).

At this point we just tipped toed off the subject and back onto the photo shoot, but this conversation is still lingering in my mind. Several thoughts are jockeying around:

1 – This man is going to hell for not knowing the truth and I wasn’t able to give him any reason to think otherwise. He is deceived by the belief that their are many roads to heaven.
2 – I was not prepared to give a reason for the truth that I believe. I am a student of God’s Word and my life is a continuous process of growing in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (1 Peter 3:18b), and I was weak, at best, to be a disciple of all of the truths that I have learned and know.
3 – What would I have said if given the chance to do it again? (Personal growth opportunity)
4 – Should I invite him to lunch and ask him to allow me to share the gospel? Maybe no one ever took the time to explain it and if he approached world religions as an academic exercise, I am sure it would be hard to differentiate why Christian.

In the meantime, you can be assured that I will be praying for him. Also, I will be continuing to learn and grow. This conversation is evidence that God isn’t finished with me yet. I do need to continue to learn and run the race that has been marked out for me (Hebrews 12:1).

Listen here: 

 

Just Not Fair

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by

GGBlog

One year ago, in the heat of my job search, I was asked the question, “What kind of job are you looking for?” Fast-forward to today and the exact job that I described starts in two days; the day after Easter. In an effort to leave my previous role in good faith, I gave a generous six week notice. To be perfectly clear about my intentions, I sincerely wanted to transition well. With over 80 stakeholders dependent upon me, I not only wanted to contact each one to complete any unfinished projects, but, I also wanted to leave that role, the company, my team and successor better off than when I started six short months ago.

TESTED:  One week into my resignation, the President of the company announced that the company will benefit from the recently passed Trump Tax Bill and decided to pass that savings along to the employees in the form of a bonus – Myself EXCLUDED. Even worse, one week prior to my last day of employment, He announced an incentive to which he denied me – AGAIN! A total loss exceeding $8,000. Ouch!

This news was such a blow. After all, I gave this company 110%. Since the beginning I went above and beyond the terms outlined in my job description. I accepted additional travel away from my family, adjusted hours to accommodate those who needed me outside of my normal business hours and frequently responded to emails/voicemail on off hours. Don’t I “deserve” this bonus?

Emotions aside, God has done a work in my heart over the past six weeks to the point where I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t deserve anything. I didn’t do anything that I did, or had planned to do, with the expectation of receiving bonuses. Since day one, I was wholeheartedly working for the Lord, not for men (Colossians 3:23), but isn’t it interesting that once money entered the picture, feelings of greed, selfishness and entitlement began to dominate my thoughts and motives.

The bible has a lot to say about greed and on this side of heaven, nothing is fair. Even King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, says in Ecclesiastes 5:10, “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.”

Here are a few more:

Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”

Proverbs 22:9, “The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor.”

Luke 12:15, “Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist of the abundance of his possessions.”

So I conclude on this celebratory Easter weekend that I am ever so grateful for Jesus Christ and his death on the cross, that assures heaven for all who believe. If you find yourself in a situation that just isn’t fair, like me, be reminded of Matthew 6:20, “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Our eternal rewards far exceed the temporal things of this world.

If anyone doesn’t deserve something, Jesus didn’t deserve to die on the cross for me and I most certainly don’t deserve his ongoing gifts of grace and mercy. My past employer can keep my bonus money, because I know where my real treasure is. I now pray that God receives glory for my conduct this last six challenging, heart-tested weeks.

 

 

An Extra Seat At The Table

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by

GGBlog

I crack open my bible to the book of Matthew this morning and in reading chapter 21, I read about Jesus’ triumphal entry on a donkey. Prophecy is being fulfilled, he’s revealing himself as more than a prophet, he’s a King! It’s purely awesome. Being “just” Thanksgiving today this story hits me – Where is Jesus today?  Christmas is flashy with the lights, trees, nativity scenes and stockings hung by the chimney with care. Easter gets the bunny and eggs and pastel decor and the remembrance of the cross and crown of thorns, but thanksgiving is nothing religious per se; it’s just a day of food and family and a lot of it. Granted, we do – and should – pause and give thanks by counting our blessings. I, for one, actually do an mental inventory of all that I am thankful for, but where is Jesus?

Of course he’s here. He’s always here, but do we make a place for him at the table? Do we invite him to fellowship with us and make this day Jesus centered?  We should! Yes I am thankful for a roof over my head, good health, a closet full of clothes, running water, beautiful children and adorable dogs, but all of this pails in comparison to what Jesus did on the cross for you and me. My sins have been abolished, I am given the assurance that I will spend eternity in heaven with him AND above all, He died for me.  My sin caused separation from a perfect and Holy God, He took it all onto himself and died. I’m so undeserving and today of all days I cannot take that for granted.

So I pledge, as I sit at the table today, I will pull up an extra chair to honor Him and to make Him a part of my Thanksgiving day. Today is an important and significant day to say thank you to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Psalm 107

1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

2 Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
    those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
3 those he gathered from the lands,
    from east and west, from north and south.

4 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
    finding no way to a city where they could settle.
5 They were hungry and thirsty,
    and their lives ebbed away.
6 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
    to a city where they could settle.
8 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
9 for he satisfies the thirsty
    and fills the hungry with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
    prisoners suffering in iron chains,
11 because they rebelled against God’s commands
    and despised the plans of the Most High.
12 So he subjected them to bitter labor;
    they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
    and broke away their chains.
15 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
    and cuts through bars of iron.

17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways
    and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
18 They loathed all food
    and drew near the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them;
    he rescued them from the grave.
21 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
22 Let them sacrifice thank offerings
    and tell of his works with songs of joy.

23 Some went out on the sea in ships;
    they were merchants on the mighty waters.
24 They saw the works of the Lord,
    his wonderful deeds in the deep.
25 For he spoke and stirred up a tempest
    that lifted high the waves.
26 They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths;
    in their peril their courage melted away.
27 They reeled and staggered like drunkards;
    they were at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he brought them out of their distress.
29 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
    the waves of the sea[b] were hushed.
30 They were glad when it grew calm,
    and he guided them to their desired haven.
31 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
32 Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
    and praise him in the council of the elders.

33 He turned rivers into a desert,
    flowing springs into thirsty ground,
34 and fruitful land into a salt waste,
    because of the wickedness of those who lived there.
35 He turned the desert into pools of water
    and the parched ground into flowing springs;
36 there he brought the hungry to live,
    and they founded a city where they could settle.
37 They sowed fields and planted vineyards
    that yielded a fruitful harvest;
38 he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased,
    and he did not let their herds diminish.

39 Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled
    by oppression, calamity and sorrow;
40 he who pours contempt on nobles
    made them wander in a trackless waste.
41 But he lifted the needy out of their affliction
    and increased their families like flocks.
42 The upright see and rejoice,
    but all the wicked shut their mouths.

43 Let the one who is wise heed these things
    and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.