Don’t Look At Me That Way

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“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2

“I quit drinking.”

I just know what is coming next. The person to whom I am speaking drops their shoulders, tilts their chin, leans in closer while shaking their head and says, “I am so sorry, I had no idea that you had a problem.”

Wait, WHAT? I am proud of the fact that I quit drinking. I lost 20 lbs, my clothes fit better and my complexion is clearer. I have more energy, I’m sleeping better and I’m 10x more productive. My head isn’t cloudy, my memory has drastically improved and I am an all around a much happier and healthier person and if you put all these things together, I am a stronger, more confident, better educated, champion in life. I’m not sorry, I’m so excited for all the great benefits that have resulted from this decision that I can’t wait to share it with people!

I do have to give credit to some a select few who do know me and have responded with “Good for you” or “I’m proud of you”, but most often I hear the follow up comment as, “I could never do that!” Yet I’m the one gets sympathy?

Just for kicks, what if we changed the conversation over to, “I quit smoking, I stopped gambling or reigned my dead-end job? What if I gave up carbs, cut back on social media, am avoiding refined sugar or I decide to join Weight Watchers?” Regardless of how bad my problem was in these areas I would likely hear, “Good for you”, “That’s awesome”, or, “I should [fill in the blank].”

Is there a difference?  Yes, stigma!

If you Google “Drinking capital of the US“, the top search will bring you to a 2018 article from USA Today that lists the top 20 drunkest cities and my great state of Wisconsin holds 10 out of the 20 cities listed. Not that my geography has anything to do with my choice to consume or not consume alcohol, but I live smack dab in the middle of the #1 and #3 ranked “drunkest” cities; Green Bay and Appleton. This means that by mere per capita, most everyone that I am sharing this news with probably has an alcohol problem too, but they, within their own state of denial, are extending pity on me? I think it goes without say, but we need to feel sad for them.

It’s been 110-ish days since I personally and consciously made the decision to refrain from drinking alcohol, yet I find myself having “the conversation” and proceed to deny that I have had even a hint of a problem; primarily out of fear, shame or risk of being labeled as an alcoholic – or worse – getting that sympathetic reaction from people.

This reaction that makes me feel ashamed and weak as if I’m an outcast and the local weirdo.

We need to get the word out that people who quit drinking are not victims, sufferers and not everyone who quits drinking has hit some rock bottom that they picked themselves up from. Instead, I would rank them among societies hero’s, conquerors and dedicated over-comers because they have unbelievable will-power, are surrounded by a huge support system and, like me, are empowered to live a better quality of life and are able to see life in vivid technicolor unhindered.

1 Thessalonians 5:6-11, “So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. for those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on the faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath, but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

I also found this Tedx Talk by Clara Pooly and she does a great job of articulating this. We have similar stories and share the same opinion, I encourage you to check it out.

To all my fellow non-drinkers out there. Keep fighting the good fight. Our lives are better for it and next time someone shakes their head and asks surprised that they didn’t know you had a problem, do a better job of standing tall. I have some work to do.

With Great Expectation

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by
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Light shines on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.  Psalm 97:11

A friend recently said to me, “God is so pleased with you right now, His face is shining down on you because you quit drinking.” I listened in disbelief and thought to myself, “Really?”

The truth is, “Yes, really.” I can be certain of that because I know truth and the truth is that God loves me and when I am living in obedience, he promises blessings. I did a bible search for the word “desires” and 50 results came up. Among them is Psalm 145: 17-19, “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of tho who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them” (NIV).

I know God has been telling me for a long time that drinking has been a blemish that tarnishes my claim to be a believer, and as you know from blogs past, I had to quit drinking to be obedient.

God is faithful and just, when God wants you to know he’s not pleased with some aspect of your life, he has a way of letting you know.

Fortunately I didn’t need to need a wake up call like a DUI or worse!

I do have a confession (since it’s just us girlfriends). On my celebratory day 61, I had a glass of wine and, to be honest, I did it with full intention because I wanted to test myself. I wanted to see if #1 – I could stop at just one, #2 – that I could control my drinking and possibly go back to being a social drinker if I could prove that I had a “handle on it” and #3 – Because I didn’t think it would be considered relapse if I didn’t drink under stress, duress or weakness.

Here is what this experiment taught me: #1 – I have incredible willpower because despite the strong temptation to order a second drink, I stayed true to myself and only had one #2 – I cannot go back to being a social drinker because the in the sobriety community says, “You take the first drink, the drink takes a second drink and the third drink takes you.” This is a battleground, this saying is true! and #3 – My amazing support system pointed out that what I did is, in fact, relapse, there is no such thing as “testing addiction” (Oops!).

So, here’s to today and celebrating, what I call my “Dover 30 days” for my do over and I’m 30 days sober (again!). Today I live in the confidence that God IS shining down with pleasure upon me for choosing him over alcohol. I am at peace and I know he is pleased with me and out of my heart of obedience, I await the blessings.

Praise be to God!

40 Days With A Purpose

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It was 2002 that I picked up Rick Warren’s nationwide best seller, “The Purpose Driven Life.” At that point in my life, my husband and two daughters had just moved to Appleton, Wisconsin and I found myself with no friends, a business that felt like pushing a snowball uphill and overwhelming grief over the life we left behind in Milwaukee. Simply put, I was depressed. One day I found myself aimlessly wandering through the isles of the neighborhood bookstore when the subtitle of Mr. Warren’s book literally jumped off the shelf, “What on earth am I here for?”  Which was the exact question I was asking myself, “Why on earth am I in Appleton, Wisconsin?”

I later found that the book was about why God put me on this earth and what his purpose was for my life – which did ultimately lead me to a surrendered life in Jesus Christ – but, I believe it was no coincidence that I found this book and because of it, I gained friends, found a church and re-prioritized my life.

As you read the first few pages, the book explains that it was written to be a 40-day journey and parallels that with the statement, “Whenever God wanted to prepare someone for his purposes, he took 40 days.” Noah had 40 days of rain, Moses transformed by 40 days on Mt. Sinai, the spies had 40 days in the promise land. David and Goliath’s 40-day challenge, Elijah, Jonah in Nineveh, Jesus in the wilderness and 40 days on earth in his resurrected body. 40 days (biblically) is a really big deal!

Well, I have been sober 45 days and there is no doubt that God is doing some wonderful things in my life. As I shared in a previous blog, I have been an avid YouTube watcher, looking for any and all topics that educate, inspire and explain why I don’t need alcohol or shouldn’t touch the stuff. I have benefited from having more energy, better sleep and a crisp clear mind. I’m down 12lbs, gained an amazing circle of support, am cherishing the quality of time that I am getting with my husband and daughters and have a renewed vigor about life, goals and my future. [If you are following me, I recorded at my 30 day milestone that I applied for a master’s in counseling program and I found out (on my 40th day of living sober) that I have been accepted.  Wahoo!!!!]

All this to say, 40 days truly can change your life. However, I do not want to give someone false hope though. What makes 40 days truly magical, is how closely you cling to God.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4

I want to share one particular story that will forever be imprinted on my heart because God showed up when I needed him most. My life long girlfriend was coming to town and a few weeks prior she asked if I wanted to go golfing. I was within my first two weeks of not drinking and this particular friend is my most fun drinking buddy. When we are together, we are fun! I wanted to decline, but I mustered up the strength to say yes; believing that a true friend would accept and respect my decision. Well, that’s only one side of it. The other side is that it’s golf, and I golf better after I have had a few drinks and to be totally honest, it’s one of those activities that drinking is just part of why I like to golf. This temptation is beyond what I imagined I would be able to bear.

For weeks I was anxious over this and I almost cancelled numerous times, but I really missed my friend and wanted to spend time with her. When the day finally came, I threw myself into my bible and lamented in prayer, “God help me, I do not have the strength to do this on my own.” Just as God is God, he met me right where I was at and brought me to Deuteronomy 30:11, “The command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you, and it is not beyond your reach.”

I cried like a baby, those were the EXACT words I needed (in addition the verses 12-20) and I persevered. It was hard, I’m not going to kid you, but I was empowered, by God, to golf without drinking. It remains my proudest milestone accomplishment to date.

So, I post this today to update my followers on my status, encourage those who are on a journey of their own and celebrate what God has done in just 45 days. My friend, Maggie, says, “I know God has performed miracles in my life, my entire life, but when you visibly see God move a mountain right in front of you, Whoa!” I can personally say that I have witnessed mountains move.

When God puts his finger on your sin or wants you to obey him in an area where your life doesn’t necessarily align with what his purpose is for you, buckle your seat belt because it’s going to be quiet a ride. Here’s to the next 40 days!

 

Tips For Sober Living

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“Let us examine our ways and test them,
    and let us return to the Lord.”
Lamentations 3:40

Last week I poured out my soul to you with a confession that I have made the decision to live sober. It was my “coming out” post to let the Godly Girlfriends community know that I have been moved, by God, to address my drinking problem. (Geez, that is still hard to own up to – Just sayin’!)

If there is one thing that I have learned in my first 30 days of sobriety, is that you can NOT do it alone. I tend to live my life as an open book, but this is deeply personal so putting this out there really takes vulnerability to a whole new level.

Today I would like to share a list of what has prevented me from giving in to all the temptations that I have encountered over the past month. My goal is to inspire others who are following my journey, looking for the courage and motivation to embark upon their own journey or for you to share with someone on a similar journey who could use some fresh ideas.

No matter what, please don’t judge me. I don’t have the perfect antidote, nobody does, but in these first 30 days, I have learned a lot about myself and this disease so I’m putting it out there. It’s what is working for me:

  1. Life Recovery Bible: I don’t know how anyone can do this without a Life Recovery Bible. It has given me daily biblical lessons that have put my addiction into perspective given me the strength to kick addiction off the pedestal of my life. In addition, I watch the Life Recovery Videos that compliment each step in the bible and the recovery system to further guide my thoughts and support my healing.
  2. Join a Celebrate Recovery Support Group: I can’t speak for AA because I haven’t been there, but I have known enough people in recovery (family members included) who have been successful in AA and have greatly benefited from that framework. I commend anyone who relies on their AA network of support. I have deliberately chosen a Celebrate Recovery (CR) Group because CR focuses on the healing power and sovereign grace of God; not my own manifestation of a higher power. Without having the one and only true God along side of me on this journey, I would not only be unsuccessful at overcoming addiction, but helpless to overcome all the proverbial curve balls that life throws my way.
  3. Countless YouTube Videos: I searched for every topic that I could think of and I listen constantly. In 30 days, I haven’t stumbled upon a repeat video yet. The messages, testimonies, education and knowledge that I have gleaned has given me answers that not only give me the assurance that I’m not alone, but this is possible. Some of the topics that I searched were Ted Talks about sobriety, detoxing, liver damage, sober stories, alcohol use disorder, overcoming cravings, signs of alcoholism, what is an alcoholic, functional alcoholics, women and alcohol, how to eliminate bloating, how to stay sober and what it means to be an alcoholic – to name a few.

    I owe the Life Recovery Bible, my Celebrate Recovery Group and the hosts of the numerous YouTube video’s credit for the remaining tips, but regardless of how I derived at them, they are working and I hope they work for you or someone you love too.

  4. Alcohol is poison: In my research on health, consequences of consuming alcohol and liver damage has given me enough ammunition to refuse to drink. You don’t have to go far to learn the negative repercussions of alcohol on the mind and body, but when you’re enjoying drinking why would you want to know you’re killing yourself? Making the psychologically shift from seeing alcohol a reward or a much deserved selfish indulgence to seeing it as something that will kill you can have a life altering impact.
  5. I want to feel: When you’re not putting yourself to bed and night with a bottle of wine and waking yourself up every morning with a pot of coffee, the world is beautiful in a new and fresh way. The sunset’s are breathtaking and the sunrise’s are indescribable. I love seeing the beauty in the world and appreciating all the moments that I now have to pause and appreciate them.
  6. I hate “Day One”. As much as my last 30 days have been consistent and without relapse, I have been motivated, many times, by the motivation to not have to start over. The thought of going back to day one after putting in this much work and adding another number to my sober days has helped me remain strong.
  7. Record Milestones. First holiday, first time golfing, first Friday night, first full weekend or whatever victory I am proud of achieving. I heard that it requires one year of “firsts” to fully appreciate the exhilarating feeling of being fully liberated from the triggers of alcohol. Also in the time frame of one year, you’ll have the time to create new experiences and build positive memories. As much as this is a “one day at a time” process, there truly is something inspiring of having a whole year of new beginnings. With each recorded milestone, my enthusiasm for a better future grows.
  8. Find new things to love. I love a hot cup of camomile tea before bed. I love reading a good book, working out and checking things off of my to-do list. When I used to come home from work and pour myself a glass of wine, that was putting an end to any productivity I planned to have for the night. I considered packing my gym bag without forgetting anything for the morning after workout was considered a successful night. I now appreciate the feelings of accomplishment, personal growth, good health and productivity. I especially love waking up in the morning with a clear, rested mind and energy! The sense of accomplishment I get from not drinking (again) the night before is exhilarating.
  9. Examine my motives. In one video I learned to ask myself “why I want a drink” each time I feel tempted. I remember pulling into my garage in week 1 and being inundated with thoughts of pouring myself a glass of wine as soon as I could get in the house. I caught myself and consciously asked “Why?” My list of reasons that I wanted a drink was weak; to say the least. From, “I just want one” to “I need to relax” to “It’s been a long day” or “It will help me sleep.” Once I deconstructed each reason for the root of why I really wanted a drink, I was able to disprove the reasons and redirect my desires toward healthier options. I learned I was drinking more out of habit, then for any true, rational or beneficial reason.
  10. Find an accountability partner(s). One of the first things that I was told early on is that I need an accountability partner. For me, this was my best friend. Someone whom I love and deeply respect too much to let down. She welcomed the opportunity to take on this tough-love assignment and she regularly sends check-in texts, unexpected daily reminders and sweet, sweet messages of encouragement and prayers that she is praying for me. With cheerleaders, advocates and non-judgemental safety nets that I have established, I seek their approval and affirmations and look forward to reporting my daily successes to them. I must add that my brother’s sobriety is motivating me. He may or may not, but I feel that he is relying on my strength and want to inspire him and show him that I am in the trenches with him. This feels like a bigger victory in that our family history is overtaken by this disease. Together, we can prevail!
  11. Make a Why List. Denial and justification for drinking is relentless and sneaks up at random and unexpected times. My mind swings from, “This is too easy” to “clearly I don’t have a problem.” That is until one of my triggers flare up and I start entertaining the idea that “just one won’t hurt.” I made a list of 10 reasons why I don’t drink which takes me back to the place that I was when I made this decision 30 days ago and the exact that I declared “enough is enough.” When I revisit that list I am reminded of the guilt, shame, regret and embarrassing memories or strong convictions that gave me the strength to stop. I don’t advocate for living in the past, but remembering where you’ve been and how far you have come is empowering. I’ll take that!
  12. Facebook Group: I searched and found “Slaying Sobriety” on Facebook. This group has over 6,000 women who have their own stories and I appreciate immediate responses with support, encouragement and connectivity to others who understand where I am at. I have encouraged others and they have encouraged me in my moments of weakness.
  13. A Lifestyle Choice. There is no denying the stigma of addiction, alcoholic and drunk. A clever marketer on YouTube suggested that we choose the label we want to bare, rather than hanging our head in defeat. After all, we may be alcoholics by genetics, mental health, past trauma or just fun people who took fun to far and for too long. Regardless, we don’t need society to make us outcasts. Instead, we choose sober living, living sober or life in recovery as a more positive representation of those of us who want better life and are making better choices for ourselves. Nobody criticizes a diabetic for taking insulin for their disease, why should we be ridiculed for ridding our lives of alcohol that makes us sick and will kill us.
  14. A Better Future. I often think about the years of drinking. I have been drinking more than 35 years. I get excited to imagine my next 35 years where I will have fewer regrets, more opportunities, better memories and more genuine friendships. As much as drinking is a societal norm, it is also derails our quality of life.
  15. A New Me. I’m having fun getting to know the new me, I really am. A girl who is full of life with a broader, more hope-filled vision for the future. Let’s be real, it’s not a great and wonderful experience… I’m making it one. There are moments that I do wish I could just take it or leave it, but I have had to get honest with myself and I have a track record of not winning in this area. I find myself dreaming again and imagining what more life holds. I am waiting to see if I get accepted into the Master’s of Counseling Program at Concordia University as we speak. I like the idea that it’s not to late to be what God created me to be.

Thank you for following my journey. Not only with alcohol, but in my walk of faith and continuous growth in knowing God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

 

 

 

 

When God Steps In to Fix Your Problem

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“Do not get drunk on wine because it will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” Ephesians 5:18 (NLT)

Today marks 3 weeks – 21 days – since I made the decision to live sober. I’m going to have to make this a multi-entry blog over the next few weeks because what I have witnessed and experienced in just 3 weeks of sobriety is nothing short of amazing. I want my journey, learning’s, disciplines and new habits to encourage others. Are you with me?

The million dollar question is, “Why did I quit drinking?”  The short answer… God.

The long answer…

  • Years of bad decisions that have manifested themselves into deep shame and regret;
  • A daughter pointing out that the first thing I do when I get home from work is pour myself a glass of wine before I do anything else;
  • A rapidly decreasing memory and a constant fuzzy, cloudy brain;
  • Being a pants size too big for over the past year, feeling fat and unhealthy;
  • Feeling conscientious of smelling like or sweating alcohol at my morning workout;
  • Tired of trying to moderate or keep my drinking under control only to wake up the next day feeling sick and coming to the realization that “I did it again;”
  • Finding reasons or excuses to justify drinking;
  • A long history of watching alcohol destroy my family;
  • My youngest brother getting his 3rd OWI and visiting to him while he was in treatment;
  • Failing efforts to go a week, let alone a day, without a drink;
  • Being jealous of others who don’t drink and wishing I had that kind of will power;
  • Absolutely fed up with being a hypocrite.

I will unpack all of these in future posts.

For the purpose of this first edition of “Why I quit drinking and am choosing sober living” starts with God. He really is the reason that I declared my sentencing and finally put the gavel down. That day and everyday since He has affirmed me and given me the strength to do this. If you read the bible, you know that God has a lot to say about idols. Even if you don’t read the bible you probably know the 10 commandments and #1 is pretty clear, “Thou shall have no other God’s before me” (Exodus 20:3 NIV). When you have god (small g) that is in direct conflict with thee God, there is a clash of priorities which produces stress, unrest, bitter consequences and constant, relentless conviction. For me it was living with a continuous guilt that I was not acting or living according to God’s will for my life.

How do you recognize an idol? An idol is anything that you make more important than God and “it” can take on many identities. Those of us with addictive personalities, it is anything that we obsess about or allow, to give or have, power over us. I remember telling myself, “Instead of drinking tonight, I am going to read my bible” – which I meant and greatly desired. Yet, I would get home from work and feel like I really needed a glass of wine to relax or worse, pouring myself a glass of wine and then sitting down to read my bible. I would have no recollection of what I read and I would get easily distracted by Facebook or some other mindless activity which drained my ambition and would stonewall any plans that I would have for the night.

I am convinced that alcohol is a tool the devil uses to take our minds off of what is important. It becomes our idol because we seek gratification from it; Self gratification or pride being worst idol of all. Whenever you think you “deserve” something, that is a warning sign that you may be nudging God out.

Whenever we satisfy yourselves and seek pleasure of anything outside of God, that is another warning sign that we are prioritizing an idol. John 4:13, “Jesus answered, Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed the water I gave them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I was thirsty again and again at the bottom of every bottle of wine and felt empty again and again every morning.

Here are some verses that God has used to convict me of late:

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

“What sorrow for those who get up early in the morning looking for a drink of alcohol and spend long evenings drinking wine to make themselves flaming drunk” Isaiah 5:11 (NLT)

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3 (NIV)

“Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.” 1 Peter 1:13 (NIV)

“The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.” 1 Peter 4:7 (NIV)

When these verses kept showing up more and more frequently I knew it was God putting his finger on something I needed to address. I know that drinking alcohol is not a sin by itself and I admire (and am jealous of) people who can enjoy a drink or two with self control. I guess my stop button is broken. I was falling into sin far to frequently, knowing full well that I was not acting or behaving in a way that would bring glory and honor to God; to whom I profess as Lord and the leader of my life.

I have listened to hundreds of testimonies over the past several weeks and I have found them to be very empowering. In recovery, it is strongly recommended that you don’t isolate yourself, not only for your own healing, but for the healing of others as well. This falls in line with the purpose and mission of Godly Girlfriends, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV)

This is me, leaning into my own healing and coming out of the dark. Please like this post if it encouraged you today and please share it with others who may benefit from this and future blogs on this subject so we can strengthen one another and stop the devil from ruining our lives and the lives of those we love and care about.

 

God – Happy Father’s Day!

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by

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But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)

Hey ladies, it’s Father’s Day so let’s not neglect our heavenly Father today – Are you with me? I have already taken inventory of my gratitude and appreciation that I have for my Dad, Husband and Father’s-in-law, but in prayer this morning I was reminded of the need to remember our Father in heaven. I’m embarrassed to admit that I almost excluded God from today’s honor.

Arguably, we could say that Father’s Day is just another one of those manufactured Hallmark holidays that gives our restaurants and retailers the opportunity to capitalize on our spending, but I’m going to set that aside to bring the perspective that we should be giving God a moment of reflection, admiration, appreciation and celebration for who He is and all He has done.

In doing so, I have a greater sense of love and appreciation for the men in my life. I’m always amazed at how things gain a greater perspective when I put it in the proper context. In my formative years, I used to try to reduce God to be the equivalent of my earthly Father. I tried to visualize (or maybe categorize is a better word) God and the only tangible example I had was my own father. It doesn’t take much bible reading to know there is a stark difference. Earthly men aren’t perfect, they don’t meet our expectations, they can’t read our minds and, let’s face it, they do fall short (as we all do) of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

I will enjoy spoiling my husband and appreciating my earthly Dads today, but only after I put God in His prominent place in my heart and mind and worship Him with thanksgiving and gratitude for ALL he has done and will continue to do; today and every day forevermore.

Do me a favor and comment below on what attributes of God, Our Father, you appreciate most. I tried to make a list, but it was too overwhelming of a task and didn’t know where to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts and sentiments.  Thank you!

 

Positive Powerful Thinking

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It is in the battle of my mind that I am defeated most often. I know I am supposed to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), but my mind is busy and random thoughts pop in and out uncontrollably. Add to that my natural sin nature which is critical, prideful and selfish. Before I even realize that my thoughts are not of God I find my head in the gutter – stinkin’ thinkin’ in it’s purest form.

I’m training myself to think differently, more positive; consciously giving people the benefit of the doubt. It’s all perspective, right? Why would I be critical of someone’s clothes, shoes, car or hair? I have to respect that not everyone shares my opinion or my taste. Thank God for that too!

Furthermore, everyone has a story and if I am only processing thoughts based on an outward appearance, that’s pretty shallow. Sadly, I go there and admittedly, way to often. We don’t know what is happening in other people’s lives and I cant tell you how many times I later learn more about peoples circumstances and compassion overtakes me followed by shame.

Even the opposite is true. I see someone being blessed with success, awards, a great personal milestone or a celebratory event and I am truly and sincerely happy for them. Yet somehow my mind twists it and spins me into jealousy and covetousness or self deprecation kicks in. Why? I hate this about me and please tell me I’m not alone!

The bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15) and that we should do nothing out of selfish ambition for vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). Yet the apostle Paul says it best, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ” (Romans 7:18b) He concludes, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Romans 7:24).

There it is – a body subject to death.

Only one conclusion and one source of this… Sin nature. Some days I wonder what I would do if I ever met Eve. Would I punch her in the face or I put my arm around her and tell her that I forgive her because I am certain I would have done the same thing? Probably the latter, but seriously?! It’s ALL her fault… or is my sin kicking in again? Is it sin, at it’s deepest level that is on auto pilot to pass blame and make excuses?

So the remedy to sin is summed up perfectly in Romans 8: 29-30, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

We’ll get there, HE will get us there. He chose us (believers), He predestined us, He will conform us to be the image of His Son and we are justified (Just as if I’d never sinned) and we’ll be glorified.

Oh, Thank you God for grace!

A Journey with No Regrets… Finally!

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by
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I did it! I finished reading my bible cover to cover. I am going to selfishly relish in my accomplishment because I have to admit that I am authentically proud of myself. I remember sitting in my living room back in July 2013, starring at my bible wondering where to start that day. Up until then, I read my bible for random bible studies (which is very sporadic and not truly a full immersion into the richness of God’s Word), or I would grab a book based on what I felt like reading and read until I felt God speaking to me, but that July Saturday morning I prayed, “What message do you have for me today, Lord?”

The answer was a nudging to read the whole bible starting at Genesis. Isn’t it just like God to give you an answer to your prayer that is the exact opposite of what you were really looking for? I was hoping more for something like, “Read Philippians to experience more joy, or Ephesians to get armored up”, but cover to cover – all 66 BOOKS – even before starting felt very defeating. I started reading through Genesis more times than any other book of the bible and I really wasn’t that interested in reading about Adam and Eve AGAIN. (Isn’t it the petty things that hang us up sometimes?)

Since it was God talking, I had to entertain the offer. Then I thought to myself, “Well, I have the rest of my life to do this, so why not? If the rapture comes and I haven’t finished, I guess I’ll learn how it ends anyway.” – There you have it, my motivational self-talk.

How Do I Get Started?

Thinking, if I’m going to do this and succeed this time, I need how some accountability. I scanned my list of highly devoted bible reading friends and just didn’t think any of them would want this long responsibility. Besides, this is my journey with God, if I have another person to work with we could slow the progress.

Next I thought of picking up a 365 day reading plan, but knew that if I missed just one day you could forget it. If I ended up having a backlog of days to read and snowballed, I would get further discouraged and give up.

My third option was to take it one day at a time, one chapter at a time, at my own self pace. For accountability, I would create a blog, this blog, called Godly Girlfriends. Even though upon its start I had no followers, I was still accountable to reading and writing about my bible journey.

Perfect! I have a plan that “I think” will work.

Having found a path and putting a committed plan in place I started both reading the bible and my Godly Girlfriends blog. Here we are 4 years later and I have obeyed God and read my bible – the WHOLE bible. The daily blogging stopped somewhere in the middle of Deuteronomy because I feel a strong conviction that it was becoming more of a task box to be checked rather than an authentic, focused, deliberate walk with God. This made my blog posts less frequent and inconsistent, but my spiritual life took off.

God and I grew together day after day, week after week. As I closed the book after Revelation 22, I had a flashback over these past years. Was it perfect? NO. I missed many days, even weeks, when I would jump back into a local bible study or when I purposefully slow down my pace to piggy back on a more inductive study with Kay Arthur (through Daniel) or Dr. Vernon McGee (through all the minor profits).

What’s Next?

My original plan was to pick up my Chronological Study Bible and do it all over again chronologically, but God put a young lady in my life who is hungry to learn and grow and her youth group is reading through 2 Kings. So I have decided to take on that book with her, to be her accountability partner and see what God has to teach me back in Kings for the time being.

They say that the teacher is the best student and I have to say, taking my knowledge and teaching it to this young lady will definitely be just that – teaching me!

Thank you for your loyalty to keep following. I will continue to share my life with you and all that I am learning and growing in my life’s journey with my BFF Jesus.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen. Revelation 22:20-21

Thankful for Jesus and Girlfriends

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by

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And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, Philippians 1:9-10 NIV

Today doesn’t feel special. The dogs started whining at 6AM like it was no different than any other day. I stumbled to the coffee pot to kick start my eyes and begin the morning routine, but today is not just another day, it’s my birthday. I remember when I would tell everyone weeks in advance that on September 30th the world revolves around me, but not this year, and as my social media feeds, emails and text messages ding they remind me that I’m older.

It could be maturity or it could be age, but I’m not feeling much like boasting. I even got out my iphone calculator in disbelief to do the math; 2018 minus my birth year. WOW! I’m really that number already and that much closer to the big 5-0. I remember when I used to label this number as old. I’m starting to realize that need to own it, but I will continue to refuse the label, “old.” On the contrary, I would argue that I’m just getting started.

Birthdays, especially this one, is forcing me to reflect. “Am I where I thought I would be?”, “If I could do things differently, what would I have done?”, or “What have I not done that I should set a goal to accomplish?” Regardless of the answers of these questions, my mind rests on the fact that I have Christ and Christ lives in me. What a relief!

I can’t imagine what my life would be without Christ; it is humbling to assess the transformation of my heart over my last 15 year walk with Him. As each birth year ticks by, I also have an even greater hope for the future and knowing He is with me makes any fears, regrets, challenges and hardships subside.

One of the things I am most grateful for are my Godly Girlfriends. Women who have, and are, pouring their lives and hearts into my life; helping me walk confidently and faithfully in the Lord. Women who listen to my pity parties, hug me often, encourage me daily and unapologetically scold me because they love me enough in truth and honesty.

I sure appreciate Jesus and girlfriends and I look forward to many more years to come as these bonds even grew deeper. I didn’t have these 20 years ago and if there is one thing I am most grateful for today is my journey in these relationships.

Words That Will Change Your Life

Posted in Reflections From My Heart by

GGBlog

Has anyone ever said something that touched you so profoundly that it literally changed your life? I can think of numerous statements that have forever molded my own life. While some were good and had a positive impact, others were harmful and have left deep wounds; which have taken years to overcome.

My Pastor began his sermon with words that he meant to change my life, “For better or for worse depends on what you do with what you are about to hear because what I am about to tell you is dangerous!” He proceeded to talk about Jesus, the one and only Son of God, who came to earth with the soul purpose of dying on a cross, not only for the sins of the world, but MY sin. When you personalize that message and get real with yourself – acknowledging that you are a hopeless sinner in need of a savior – this simple, yet profound, message should literally rock your world.

Why?

I think Jesus says it best in Luke 10:23-24,

23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24 For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.'”

Do you see the danger in these words? The disciples see Jesus and know him as the Son of God, King of Kings, Lord of Lords and THE one and only Savior of the World. It was as true in Jesus’ day as it is today that the people he was referring to were so preoccupied with their own lives that they were oblivious to the danger that hangs in the balance; eternal life with Jesus or eternal condemnation without him.

The older I get the more I grieve at the obvious denial [or blatant ignorance] of how people justify their “right” to heaven. I’m especially heavy-hearted for those who go to church, keep up all religious appearances, even to the point of spewing out cliche phrases that they “think” are stated in the bible. This fits Jesus’ description that “many prophets and kings who wanted to see what true believers see, but do not see it, and what to hear what true believers hear but do not hear it.”

So how do you get your eyes to see and your ears to hear?

According to Proverbs 2:4-6, written by the wisest man to ever live, King Solomon,

“My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.

If this is offensive to you, I urge you to dig deep into God’s word and discover truth for yourself. Don’t take my word for it. I’m merely human and I attribute the confusion in today’s society is that to people listening to people and not seeking the only valid source, God himself.

Don’t assume that going to church is enough or what you have been raised to believe is sufficient to earn you passage into heaven. Heaven or hell rest in your ability to hear and see, so trust me… hearing this truth and not taking responsibility for it are dangerous words that I give to you. What you do with this will ultimately hurt or help you.

I pray that we meet in heaven so I can thank you for taking these words to heart and for recognizing that what I am saying IS meant for your good. I can tell you from firsthand experience that had someone not challenge me on what I was raised to believe, I would still be deceived into thinking that I was going to heaven and now that God’s Word has revealed the truth, it is to dangerous to keep it to myself.