If you’re carrying wounds from church hurt or spiritual disappointment, I want you to know you are seen. God sees you and no one knows your pain more than Jesus.

Whether you’ve been gossiped about, excluded, judged harshly, or feel like you can’t show up as your real, struggling self – I know that pain cuts deep. Some of the hardest stories I’ve walked through with women involve betrayal by pastors or leaders — situations involving abuse of power, violation, or shattered trust. No matter what level of hurt you carry, I want to gently walk with you through three important truths:
1. Who God is and what He intended His church to be;
2. Why the church is capable of disappointing us,
3. How we can move forward from these hurts in the only non-regrettable way.

Who God is and what He intended His church to be

God is perfect love. As 1 John 4:8 tells us, “God is love.” He is safe, kind, and faithful even when everyone else fails. Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

From the beginning, God designed the church to be a family — a place of healing, truth, love, encouragement, and safety. Ephesians 2:19 says, “You are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of His household.” He wants us to belong, to be known, to grow together, and to reflect Jesus to a hurting world. The Bible calls the church the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27) and the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27). It was never meant to wound us. It was meant to help us become more like Jesus.

Why the church is capable of disappointing us

Here’s the honest part: the church is made up of imperfect, broken people — just like you and me. We’re all still being sanctified. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and 1 John 1:8 reminds us that if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves.

In my own story, I grew up in what I’ll call “Judgment Church.” My parents openly expressed frustration with the deacons who were voted in, and the word “hypocrite” was thrown around often. In my formative years, that left a deep impression. The church talked about living by Christian standards, but the infighting, gossip, and disunity hung like a gray cloud over everything. It made me question if any of it was real.

This kind of pain is especially confusing because we expect God’s people to be safe. When they’re not, it can shake our trust in God Himself. But here’s the good news: God sees every wound. He understands the betrayal. And He still wants to heal you so you can keep moving toward Him.

Jesus knows this pain intimately. He was betrayed by His own inner circle. David was chased by the people who should have protected him. The Bible never hides the failures of God’s people — yet it still calls the church family.

How we can move forward from the hurts we’re carrying

So how do we move forward in the only non-regrettable way?

First, we separate God from His imperfect people. God is not like the ones who hurt you. He is safe. He is trustworthy. He will never misuse you. Psalm 27:10 promises, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”
That includes spiritual family too.

Second, we name the pain honestly to God and to safe people — without shame. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Third, we entrust every hurt to the Righteous Judge, just like Jesus did. 1 Peter 2:23 tells us, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate… Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

And fourth, we begin to re-engage with wisdom. Healthy community is still God’s design. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together…” Even if it looks different for a season, this space — GodlyGirlfriends and The Addicted to God Podcast — can be part of your healing as you rebuild trust. I recommend listening to Episode 4 that describes how to find a healthy church. Unfortunately, not all churches are healthy – like the one I grew up in.

A Prayer for Healing

Lord, the wounds from people have hurt me deeply. I bring every betrayal, every silence, every judgment, every abuse, and any shame to You. Help me separate You from the failures of others. Heal my distrust. Restore my hope in healthy community. Whether in a group or a local church, show me where I can safely belong again. I entrust every hurt to You, the Righteous Judge. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Safe Community Inventory Take a few quiet minutes with your journal:

1. Name the Hurt: Briefly describe one experience of church hurt or spiritual disappointment — or even just feeling ashamed to show up as you really are.
2. Separate the Lies from Truth: Write: “Because of this, I believed ___ about God, church, or people. But God says ___” (let the Scriptures speak to you).
3. My Next Step: Choose one small, safe step toward community this week.
4. Affirmation: Write and speak out loud: “God receives me even when people don’t. I am not defined by how the church treated me.”
   

I would love to hear how this message, podcast, or prayer has helped you. Please comment or email me at addictedtogodpod@gmail.com.