Tag Archives: Christianity

Should I Be Scared?

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“Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they do”
Luke 23:34

I was scrolling through X when a video stopped me in my tracks. A young blonde woman, covered in tattoos, shared her powerful testimony. She explained how, since following Jesus, she quit drugs, stopped drinking, ended self-harming, and overcame suicidal thoughts. The post’s subheading caught my eye: “It’s [Christianity] a cult that tricks you into healing and purpose!” Her story of transformation inspired me, but the sarcastic framing made me pause. Is this what people think of Christianity today?

Her story fuels my passion for writing a book about why we should give our lives to Christ and how to live for Him. I volunteer in our local jail ministry, where I’ve seen hundreds of women whose lives have been shattered by drugs and alcohol. At their breaking point, often not their first time incarcerated, they reach out to the chaplain’s office for spiritual meetings. I’m randomly assigned to meet with them, and I’m honored to share the hope of Jesus.

These women are desperate for a way out, and I’ve seen Christ transform their lives from despair to joy. Yet, as I write this book, I see growing hate on social media. Many reject the belief that we need Jesus to reach heaven. Moreover, they view Christianity as a cult, claiming those who believe Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6) are misguided. I believe they’re missing the hope Jesus offers, as I’ve witnessed in the lives I serve. Scripture warns that the god of this age, Satan, has blinded the minds of unbelievers, keeping them from the gospel’s light (2 Corinthians 4:4). The world resists the truth, but the truth is what it needs most.

I sit in community meetings where leaders tackle the mental health crisis, homelessness, social isolation, food scarcity, and childcare shortages. Nonprofits compete for scarce funds to “help people,” yet no one suggests connecting people with local churches. They list churches as donors to tap for money while criticizing them, saying, “All churches want is your money.” They’re the first in line for handouts, yet they have no intention of helping churches grow their attendance. This hypocrisy grieves my soul.

Am I scared? Yes. I fear rejection, isolation, and being labeled a “Jesus freak.” But day by day, God prompts me to speak out. I can no longer watch people chase fleeting hopes, only to end up hopeless, discouraged, and defeated. Their missions are valid and needed, but without God, there will always be a void. Scripture urges us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). When society drifts from God, problems worsen.

I feel the world is more evil today than ever, with rising addiction, division, and godlessness. Do you agree? If not, what makes you see things differently? I welcome the dialogue. Despite my fears, I’m reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7: God gives me a spirit of power, not fear, to share His truth. I’m writing this book because I’ve seen Jesus transform lives, from jail cells to joyful hearts. Join me in sharing this hope, no matter how the world responds. The gospel is the foundation for true healing, and I believe it’s the answer our world desperately needs.
And if you want to watch the video yourself, check it out. I wish more people could experience a transformation like hers: https://x.com/KatKanada_TM/status/1981382525420523653

Want To Change Your Life?

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For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Each morning, I start my prayer with a simple, awe-filled, “Wow, God!” For nearly 22 years, I’ve been reading the Bible—10 of those years daily. So why, in 2025, does this habit still leave me in wonder? I’m approaching God’s Word differently now.

For the past two years, I read the Bible cover to cover. In 2023, I followed John MacArthur’s Daily Study Bible plan, reading two Old Testament chapters, a Psalm, a Proverb, and a New Testament chapter each day. In 2024, I read chronologically with The Bible Recap. These years felt like a “rapid-fire” sprint through Scripture—lots of content, but high-level and less fulfilling. It became more of a task than a deep study or connection with God.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful for the experience. Reading the entire Bible showed me the incredible timeline of Scripture, the inspiring stories, and God’s sovereignty in every situation. But this year, I committed to slowing down—way down.

My 2025 plan is to read one New Testament chapter per week. Each day, I read that chapter in a different Bible version. When the version includes study notes, I dig into the footnotes and cross-references. On days without notes, I turn to commentaries by Wiersbe, McGee, and MacArthur. The result? I’ve gained a deeper understanding of Scripture and how to apply it to my life than I have in over two decades. It’s mind-blowing!

As of today, March 25, 2025, I’m only on my third day of studying Matthew chapter 7. You might think I’d be further along by now—maybe Matthew 12—but I’m not. And that’s intentional. I’m taking my time, meditating on God’s Word, and it’s coming alive in a new way. I find myself talking about it throughout the day, recalling its meaning during decisions, conversations, and moments needing discernment.

I’m not memorizing every verse, but I know where to find them when I need them. At this pace—one chapter a week—I estimate it’ll take about three and a half years to finish the New Testament. I may never reach Revelation, let alone the Old Testament, and that’s okay. This slower, deeper approach is transforming me. God is revealing Himself to me in a more intimate way.

That’s why I’m calling this journey “Do You Want to Change Your Life?” It’s changing mine. Want to join me?

Be Bold and Brave

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This, is love.

I mentor a lot of women… A lot! Some days I am overwhelmed by the complexity and struggles that women face. From jail ministry, where women have committed unexplainable and despicable crimes. To women who are finding their way as they struggle hopelessly through heavy and challenging circumstances they are navigating.

Yesterday I met with a woman who is living in a messy marriage in the aftermath of her affair. Both parties contributing to the downward cycle after having experimented with polygamy, drugs and witchcraft.

Today, I will be meeting with two girls who are incarcerated. One of them is merely a child. I honestly don’t know what she’s incarcerated for, but she is being held in the mental health unit. As I speak with her, between her random rants, I wonder if she even has the ability to comprehend the truth and revelation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The majority of the women I meet with are starving for truth and someone brave and bold enough to not only tell them, but explain why it’s truth. They’ve been to psychologists who prescribe medications for anxiety or read self-help books that promise that losing weight, exercise, healthy diet, meditation and mindfulness are the keys to happiness, but never point them to the true source of help and hope.

When I lament on this page about the brokenness of this world it is because I have a front row seat to it. It used to weigh me down, but now it invigorates me that God is using me – inadequate, incompetent, insignificant me – to be bold and brave enough to show them that Jesus loves them so much that he was willing to die for them.

If you’re struggling in a mess of your own (and who isn’t?) I urge you to pick up your Bible and read it today. I always start in the book of John for people who don’t know where to start. Jesus talks the most in the book of John so you get his teaching spoken word for word. It also tells you how to get to heaven, gives incredible examples that models how Jesus lived and you’ll find the life giving truth found in John 3. Everyone should memorize John 3:16.

Thanks for reading this long post. My heart is for all of us navigating the messy stuff of this life to be bold and brave enough to put our trust in Christ and Christ alone.

The Goodness of God’s Testing

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We can find God. He’s everywhere!

“For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭1‬:‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Yet, Job wonders where he is. I love Job and his “humanness”. Who hasn’t wanted to find God to sit down and have a talk with him. We would ask questions like, “Why God…?”

Job also gives us the answer, “When he tests me, I will come out as pure gold.”

Hang in there. Keep the faith. Trust God even when you cannot understand what he is doing or why he is doing it. You will come through it as pure gold… refined, magnificent, invaluable, and shining brighter.

Be Careful What You Pray For!

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“I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.“
Psalm 121:1-2

You may need to read my last blog post to get the whole story, but even if you don’t, I have a true life lesson that proves that the sky is the limit when you take your wants, needs, and desires to God in prayer.

I have been working a part-time job for over 18 months. I started this gig in December of 2020 with the expectation that I would only need to do it for 6 months. My goals, at that time, were (1) to get out of the house and around people during the worst of the COVID pandemic, (2) do something physical and get out of the house, and (3) survive our dark, cold, long, Wisconsin winter.
As news to me, God had a better idea. His goals were (1) I would actually enjoy working a second job (2) this would be an active mission field to reach unchurched people in my community, and (3) to address my (almost) $24,000 in credit card debt.

A few months ago I routinely sat down with my prayer journal and I expressed to God that I was tired. With both jobs combined, I was working up to 60 hours a week and I told him that I really needed a break. My current balance on my credit card (at that time) was just under $4,000. I had come so far that I could see that being credit card debt-free was within reach. But, I also asked God to expedite my debt pay off because I didn’t want to do this anymore. As I recorded these requests, I consciously remember thinking, “How are you going to do this God? I’m asking to work less or not at all, but at the same time get paid more? These prayers contradict!”

I proceeded to close my journal and I just left it right there as I do everyday and with every prayer. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if I expected God to actually answer my prayers that day, or was it just me whining? After all, it is such a fleshly human characteristic to “want our cake and eat it too”, right?
Several weeks passed and I forgot that prayer or whining session; whichever you want to call it. Despite being tired, sheer determination and an unwavering commitment to achieve my $0 balance credit card goal kept me going. I endured more long work days, making sacrifices to my social calendar and family time, missing out on community events and completely neglecting housework. Dust bunnies can wait until my debt is paid off, I thought to myself.
But then one day God answered my prayer and not how I would have ever imagined.

I got hurt – really hurt!

I was at work and it seemed as if it were just another night, but on this particular night, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was squished by an almost 4,000 pound box. I’ll spare you the details, but after a 5 hour wait in the Emergency Room, I was treated for a sprained wrist, elbow, ankle and a large laceration on the back of my right heel. Oh-it-could-have-been-so-much-worse!
Following the accident, I was unable to work for 2 complete weeks (because I was physically unable to stand or walk for any length of time, prohibiting me from being able to perform the light duty work that they tried to give me). Two weeks to rest, ice and elevate. Did you catch that? (2 weeks!)

The other miracle was, when I did return to work, the partial disability checks paid from workman’s comp more than doubled my normal take home pay. (Doubled!)
It was about 3 weeks after the accident that it all hit me. Not only did God gave me my much needed break BUT He expedited my debt pay off – Simultaneously! Exactly as I had prayed for it.

As of today, I my balance is $227 and I am days away from being credit card debt free and close friend asked me what I plan to do to celebrate this monumental accomplishment? After giving it some thought I decided I am going to commemorate God’s goodness in not just this, but in every aspect of my life, by getting a tattoo on my ankle (after it is healed) that reads, “My debt is paid.”

Our God loves us so much. He cares deeply for us. He is able to do so much more than we can ask or imagine. Be careful what you pray for, it might hurt.

At The End Of Ourselves

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6

Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

The book of Acts is incredible. It’s like a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Today I read Acts 27:13-26 and couldn’t help but recognize some parallels between the storm they were facing and the storms that I face in my own life.

My Wiersbe Bible Commentary says, “Sometimes we get ourselves into storms for the same reasons: impatience, accepting expert advice that is contrary to God’s will, following the majority, and trusting ‘ideal’ conditions. ‘He that believes shall not make haste’ (Isaiah 28:16). It pays to listen to God’s Word.”

CONVICTING! I have done this – I do this still! Practicing everything but not listening and willingly obey God’s Word.

I have gotten better at this because I do find myself praying to God, “This is just too big for me or too much for me to handle, I know I have to trust YOU with this, Lord.” Admittedly, I should just say, “You got this God” and then confidently trust Him, but no, I don’t naturally do that. God and me, we arm wrestle sometimes. I give it to Him and take it back, and then give it to Him again, only to take it back. Finally I fatigue and throw my arms up and proclaim, “You win!”

It is so me to have to get to the end of myself first and THEN give it to God. I’m just being real here.

The verse within this section that glared me straight in the face is verse 20b that says, “We finally gave up all hope of being saved.” God does bring us to the end of ourselves, doesn’t He? After we have “tried” to do everything we humanly can to “fix” our circumstances, rationalize our efforts and work our way through the messes (as if our lives depended on it), instead of trusting on the Lord with all our hearts and leaning NOT on our own understanding, but in ALL our ways, to acknowledge Him first, so He can make our paths straight. [Head slap moment]

Surrendering our will, trusting in God, waiting on His timing and not doubting Him is a daily, hourly, minute by minute need [for me] so I thanked God for reminding of this today and I am confessing to all of you that just prayed and repented of all the ways that I try to control everything. Everything!

I asked God to forgive me for trying to “play God” when things aren’t as I wish they were or I “think” they should be. I invited Him to come back and be seated on the throne of my marriage, my relationship with daughters, my jobs, all the people I deeply yearn for to have a relationship with Him (but don’t seem to be “getting it”) and any other selfish things that I am unconsciously, or subconsciously, doing in my own strength. They’re not going to magically disappear I know, but it’s sure going to take the pressure off of me. I have now reprioritized it and released it; accepted and appreciating the reality that only He can do and He will!

It’s so liberating to lay my burdens at His feet and know it’s in better hands. This is where and when I find peace within myself and about all the things that make my world spin like crazy.

If you want to join me and show me that I’m not alone… let me know what it is that you need to release and let go to Him today?

What Does The Cross Mean To You?

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black cross on top of mountain

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Luke 9:23-25

A young lady came into my life recently and we were matched up because she wanted to know God better. To be honest, she had a very convincing testimony and if salvation had a checklist I would argue that she could check every box. I was pleased to see that she already knew a lot of scripture so I assumed my role, as her mentor, would be to show her how she could build daily disciplines into her life, hold her accountable to putting what she read into practice and to encourage her in her walk with the Lord. We both agreed that this would be our goal.

I made her a promise that I would not give her any personal advice, but would point her to scripture that would be useful to teaching rebuking, correcting and training in her righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). With that, I encouraged her to ask questions and to be curious about what she was reading and take time to meditate on how she could apply what she was reading into her life.

Shortly after, her questions started rolling in, I responded with verses that would not only teach her, but affirm her as she would wrestle with the truth. She began to realize that her life wasn’t exactly aligned with what God would want for her and began to open up about her struggles with addition, low self-esteem, anxiety, borderline depression and a complete lack of inner peace.

I kept sharing God’s truth and continued to remind her of who she is in Christ; that she is God’s creation, His handiwork, an heir to the throne and a daughter of the King who is deeply loved. She began rebuking me out of her own disbelief that if that is true about God, why doesn’t she feel that way?

Whoa! There it is… she’s seeking a feeling and desiring after some supernatural, magical, confident state of mind. Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is deceitful above all else, who can understand it and when I shared this with her, she had to admit that this is true of herself. She is being tossed around endlessly by her feelings and is guilty focusing on how she feels rather than on what she knows to be true in scripture.

Girlfriends, God made us to be feelers, thinkers and have emotions, which (I can speak from first hand experience), can be one of the biggest barriers to having an intimate, authentic and personal relationship with God.

We can’t wish ourselves into heaven anymore than we can earn it.

We need to throw our whole entire heart (life) into knowing God and trust every single one of the promises that are given to us in His word. We have to believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what Jesus did on the cross was enough to cover our sins today, tomorrow and for eternity. Until we do, we will live on an emotional rollercoaster and be tossed around and tormented by our feelings – exactly what is happening to her.

It has been weeks of watching her come to the end of herself in this battle of wills – her will vs. God’s will. Last night she finally made this statement, “I know suffering has a purpose but it hurts when in it… I’d like to view it from God’s perspective.”

Oh, the honesty, defeat and vulnerability in those words.

Poor sweet girl (and all of you reading), we DO have God’s perspective and it is found at and in the cross! The cross that performed the greatest, most selfless act in history. The cross, where God’s grace was freely given to us in the form the most sacrificial gift of all time. Not one of us deserve it! It is the most horrific form of suffering, where Jesus was placed on an altar, the altar called the cross, and where his sinless, flawless life was sacrificed and he willingly took all of humanity’s collective sin onto himself paying the ultimate price… death! Satan thought he won, but on the contrary he was never more defeated. Jesus conquered death and he lives!

It is because of this that we surrender our lives to him – our whole selves. He gave everything up for us and held nothing back and when we realize the magnitude of what he did, we willingly, enthusiastically and wholeheartedly give him our lives. When that happens, the Holy Spirit enters us and begins to change us from the inside out. The process takes a lifetime (here on earth), but the assurance of heaven is guaranteed. The changes we begin to see within ourselves are evidence of his transforming work and we not only love ourselves (which covers low self-esteem, doubt and anxiety), but we love others unconditionally.

Today I am going to ask this young lady if she wants to accept the greatest gift of life that God gave to her, because now I can see that she may know scripture intellectually, but not personally. I pray I get to witness the birth of a new believer who comes to know her Father in heaven on Mother’s Day 2020.

Is today that day for you too? Are you done being tossed around by your feelings and emotions and are you ready to accept the greatest gift of all – eternal life through faith in what Jesus did on the cross for you?

I hope so. My greatest pain comes from watching this young lady, and many like her, struggle. Especially because I know that on the other side of this decision is peace that surpasses all understanding, joy that is not contingent to circumstances and love that abounds beyond my ability to describe it.

“Lord, thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for MY sins; not just the sins of the world, but for ME! Father please forgive me of all my sins – I admit that I can’t save myself; I need a savior. I surrender my life to you, Lord, and I ask that you fill me with your Holy Spirit. That you will guide me everyday for the rest of my life and I thank you for giving me assurance of eternal life through Jesus Christ. In Jesus Name I pray – Amen!”

If you prayed this prayer, Congratulations! Email me at liveoutlougblog@gmail.com and I will share some ideas on how you can take your new found faith and grow it, mature it.

For you and all who have already surrendered your life, we will see you in heaven, sisters in Christ!

 

 

 

With Great Expectation

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atmosphere blue bright clouds

Light shines on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.  Psalm 97:11

A friend recently said to me, “God is so pleased with you right now, His face is shining down on you because you quit drinking.” I listened in disbelief and thought to myself, “Really?”

The truth is, “Yes, really.” I can be certain of that because I know truth and the truth is that God loves me and when I am living in obedience, he promises blessings. I did a bible search for the word “desires” and 50 results came up. Among them is Psalm 145: 17-19, “The LORD is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of tho who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them” (NIV).

I know God has been telling me for a long time that drinking has been a blemish that tarnishes my claim to be a believer, and as you know from blogs past, I had to quit drinking to be obedient.

God is faithful and just, when God wants you to know he’s not pleased with some aspect of your life, he has a way of letting you know.

Fortunately I didn’t need to need a wake up call like a DUI or worse!

I do have a confession (since it’s just us girlfriends). On my celebratory day 61, I had a glass of wine and, to be honest, I did it with full intention because I wanted to test myself. I wanted to see if #1 – I could stop at just one, #2 – that I could control my drinking and possibly go back to being a social drinker if I could prove that I had a “handle on it” and #3 – Because I didn’t think it would be considered relapse if I didn’t drink under stress, duress or weakness.

Here is what this experiment taught me: #1 – I have incredible willpower because despite the strong temptation to order a second drink, I stayed true to myself and only had one #2 – I cannot go back to being a social drinker because the in the sobriety community says, “You take the first drink, the drink takes a second drink and the third drink takes you.” This is a battleground, this saying is true! and #3 – My amazing support system pointed out that what I did is, in fact, relapse, there is no such thing as “testing addiction” (Oops!).

So, here’s to today and celebrating, what I call my “Dover 30 days” for my do over and I’m 30 days sober (again!). Today I live in the confidence that God IS shining down with pleasure upon me for choosing him over alcohol. I am at peace and I know he is pleased with me and out of my heart of obedience, I await the blessings.

Praise be to God!

Tips For Sober Living

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notebook

“Let us examine our ways and test them,
    and let us return to the Lord.”
Lamentations 3:40

Last week I poured out my soul to you with a confession that I have made the decision to live sober. It was my “coming out” post to let the Godly Girlfriends community know that I have been moved, by God, to address my drinking problem. (Geez, that is still hard to own up to – Just sayin’!)

If there is one thing that I have learned in my first 30 days of sobriety, is that you can NOT do it alone. I tend to live my life as an open book, but this is deeply personal so putting this out there really takes vulnerability to a whole new level.

Today I would like to share a list of what has prevented me from giving in to all the temptations that I have encountered over the past month. My goal is to inspire others who are following my journey, looking for the courage and motivation to embark upon their own journey or for you to share with someone on a similar journey who could use some fresh ideas.

No matter what, please don’t judge me. I don’t have the perfect antidote, nobody does, but in these first 30 days, I have learned a lot about myself and this disease so I’m putting it out there. It’s what is working for me:

  1. Life Recovery Bible: I don’t know how anyone can do this without a Life Recovery Bible. It has given me daily biblical lessons that have put my addiction into perspective given me the strength to kick addiction off the pedestal of my life. In addition, I watch the Life Recovery Videos that compliment each step in the bible and the recovery system to further guide my thoughts and support my healing.
  2. Join a Celebrate Recovery Support Group: I can’t speak for AA because I haven’t been there, but I have known enough people in recovery (family members included) who have been successful in AA and have greatly benefited from that framework. I commend anyone who relies on their AA network of support. I have deliberately chosen a Celebrate Recovery (CR) Group because CR focuses on the healing power and sovereign grace of God; not my own manifestation of a higher power. Without having the one and only true God along side of me on this journey, I would not only be unsuccessful at overcoming addiction, but helpless to overcome all the proverbial curve balls that life throws my way.
  3. Countless YouTube Videos: I searched for every topic that I could think of and I listen constantly. In 30 days, I haven’t stumbled upon a repeat video yet. The messages, testimonies, education and knowledge that I have gleaned has given me answers that not only give me the assurance that I’m not alone, but this is possible. Some of the topics that I searched were Ted Talks about sobriety, detoxing, liver damage, sober stories, alcohol use disorder, overcoming cravings, signs of alcoholism, what is an alcoholic, functional alcoholics, women and alcohol, how to eliminate bloating, how to stay sober and what it means to be an alcoholic – to name a few.

    I owe the Life Recovery Bible, my Celebrate Recovery Group and the hosts of the numerous YouTube video’s credit for the remaining tips, but regardless of how I derived at them, they are working and I hope they work for you or someone you love too.

  4. Alcohol is poison: In my research on health, consequences of consuming alcohol and liver damage has given me enough ammunition to refuse to drink. You don’t have to go far to learn the negative repercussions of alcohol on the mind and body, but when you’re enjoying drinking why would you want to know you’re killing yourself? Making the psychologically shift from seeing alcohol a reward or a much deserved selfish indulgence to seeing it as something that will kill you can have a life altering impact.
  5. I want to feel: When you’re not putting yourself to bed and night with a bottle of wine and waking yourself up every morning with a pot of coffee, the world is beautiful in a new and fresh way. The sunset’s are breathtaking and the sunrise’s are indescribable. I love seeing the beauty in the world and appreciating all the moments that I now have to pause and appreciate them.
  6. I hate “Day One”. As much as my last 30 days have been consistent and without relapse, I have been motivated, many times, by the motivation to not have to start over. The thought of going back to day one after putting in this much work and adding another number to my sober days has helped me remain strong.
  7. Record Milestones. First holiday, first time golfing, first Friday night, first full weekend or whatever victory I am proud of achieving. I heard that it requires one year of “firsts” to fully appreciate the exhilarating feeling of being fully liberated from the triggers of alcohol. Also in the time frame of one year, you’ll have the time to create new experiences and build positive memories. As much as this is a “one day at a time” process, there truly is something inspiring of having a whole year of new beginnings. With each recorded milestone, my enthusiasm for a better future grows.
  8. Find new things to love. I love a hot cup of camomile tea before bed. I love reading a good book, working out and checking things off of my to-do list. When I used to come home from work and pour myself a glass of wine, that was putting an end to any productivity I planned to have for the night. I considered packing my gym bag without forgetting anything for the morning after workout was considered a successful night. I now appreciate the feelings of accomplishment, personal growth, good health and productivity. I especially love waking up in the morning with a clear, rested mind and energy! The sense of accomplishment I get from not drinking (again) the night before is exhilarating.
  9. Examine my motives. In one video I learned to ask myself “why I want a drink” each time I feel tempted. I remember pulling into my garage in week 1 and being inundated with thoughts of pouring myself a glass of wine as soon as I could get in the house. I caught myself and consciously asked “Why?” My list of reasons that I wanted a drink was weak; to say the least. From, “I just want one” to “I need to relax” to “It’s been a long day” or “It will help me sleep.” Once I deconstructed each reason for the root of why I really wanted a drink, I was able to disprove the reasons and redirect my desires toward healthier options. I learned I was drinking more out of habit, then for any true, rational or beneficial reason.
  10. Find an accountability partner(s). One of the first things that I was told early on is that I need an accountability partner. For me, this was my best friend. Someone whom I love and deeply respect too much to let down. She welcomed the opportunity to take on this tough-love assignment and she regularly sends check-in texts, unexpected daily reminders and sweet, sweet messages of encouragement and prayers that she is praying for me. With cheerleaders, advocates and non-judgemental safety nets that I have established, I seek their approval and affirmations and look forward to reporting my daily successes to them. I must add that my brother’s sobriety is motivating me. He may or may not, but I feel that he is relying on my strength and want to inspire him and show him that I am in the trenches with him. This feels like a bigger victory in that our family history is overtaken by this disease. Together, we can prevail!
  11. Make a Why List. Denial and justification for drinking is relentless and sneaks up at random and unexpected times. My mind swings from, “This is too easy” to “clearly I don’t have a problem.” That is until one of my triggers flare up and I start entertaining the idea that “just one won’t hurt.” I made a list of 10 reasons why I don’t drink which takes me back to the place that I was when I made this decision 30 days ago and the exact that I declared “enough is enough.” When I revisit that list I am reminded of the guilt, shame, regret and embarrassing memories or strong convictions that gave me the strength to stop. I don’t advocate for living in the past, but remembering where you’ve been and how far you have come is empowering. I’ll take that!
  12. Facebook Group: I searched and found “Slaying Sobriety” on Facebook. This group has over 6,000 women who have their own stories and I appreciate immediate responses with support, encouragement and connectivity to others who understand where I am at. I have encouraged others and they have encouraged me in my moments of weakness.
  13. A Lifestyle Choice. There is no denying the stigma of addiction, alcoholic and drunk. A clever marketer on YouTube suggested that we choose the label we want to bare, rather than hanging our head in defeat. After all, we may be alcoholics by genetics, mental health, past trauma or just fun people who took fun to far and for too long. Regardless, we don’t need society to make us outcasts. Instead, we choose sober living, living sober or life in recovery as a more positive representation of those of us who want better life and are making better choices for ourselves. Nobody criticizes a diabetic for taking insulin for their disease, why should we be ridiculed for ridding our lives of alcohol that makes us sick and will kill us.
  14. A Better Future. I often think about the years of drinking. I have been drinking more than 35 years. I get excited to imagine my next 35 years where I will have fewer regrets, more opportunities, better memories and more genuine friendships. As much as drinking is a societal norm, it is also derails our quality of life.
  15. A New Me. I’m having fun getting to know the new me, I really am. A girl who is full of life with a broader, more hope-filled vision for the future. Let’s be real, it’s not a great and wonderful experience… I’m making it one. There are moments that I do wish I could just take it or leave it, but I have had to get honest with myself and I have a track record of not winning in this area. I find myself dreaming again and imagining what more life holds. I am waiting to see if I get accepted into the Master’s of Counseling Program at Concordia University as we speak. I like the idea that it’s not to late to be what God created me to be.

Thank you for following my journey. Not only with alcohol, but in my walk of faith and continuous growth in knowing God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV